One liners on Work

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

When you try to prove to someone that something won’t work, it will.

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Anything is possible if you don’t know what you’re talking about.

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.

The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm.

The attention span of a computer is only as long as its power cord.

An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.

Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.

The first myth of management is that it exists.

To err is human, to blame somebody else shows superior management skills.

New systems generate new problems.

Some people manage by the book – even though they don’t know who wrote the book or even what book.

The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the manufacturer and impossible for the serviceman.

To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and will cost the most.

After all is said and done, more is said than done.

Any design must contain at least one part which is obsolete, two parts which are unobtainable and three parts which are still under development.

A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that works.

Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.

If you can’t understand it, it is intuitively obvious.

If it’s not in the computer, it doesn’t exist.

Any simple theory will be worded in the most complicated way.

Build a system that even a fool can use and only a fool will want to use it.

The degree of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level of management.

There is never time to do it right, but always time to do it over.

The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches.

It is never wise to let any piece of electronic equipment know that you are in a hurry.

If you are not thoroughly confused, you have not been thoroughly informed.

Never trust modern technology. Trust it only when it is old technology.

For any given software, as soon as you master it, a new version of that software appears.
The new version always manages to change the one feature you need most.

It is simple to make something complex, and complex to make something simple.

The chance a copy machine will break down is proportional to the importance of the material that needs to be copied and inversely proportional to the amount of time till the material will be needed.

If it works in theory, it won’t work in practice. If it works in practice, it won’t work in theory.

The less intelligent the idea, and the person stating it, the more likely it will be funded.

The more you want to contact someone over an instant messenger is inversely proportional to the chances that they will be online.

The more important your email is, the worse your email program will screw it up.

The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act

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